Day 5: Cacao Crisps and Almond milk…what are you doing for dinner?

Good Evening Beautiful Friends,

As I sit here happily crunching away on my cocoa puffs vegan sprouted brown rice cacao crisps cereal with almond milk, I can’t imagine ever going back to eating those terrible barely chocolate sugary chemical filled cereals from my childhood young adulthood. Thankfully, my mom didn’t allow these foods into the house when I was a child, so once I went off to university, I couldn’t help but rebel and buy all of the sugary deliciousness that were marshmallows, Oreos, deep and delicious chocolate cake, and Lucky charms. When pure sugar wasn’t enough, I took it one step further with chocolate cereal. I recall there were Nestle chocolate something balls, that to be quite frank, looked like rabbit droppings, and then my favourite were chocolate cereal with freeze dried?? super crunchy marshmallows that I had a serious obsession with.

WHAT? Why were the marshmallows so darn crunchy??

Oh god, so much sugar in one bowl….

Oh right, the point of this post isn’t the cereal. Let’s go back to reflecting on the past week. I’ve been tired, hungry, sore, frustrated, and even stressed, but also, happy, excited, and passionate and I’ve managed to stay focused on maintaining some form of balance in my life. Not all play, but not all work either. Ordinarily I allow myself to fall victim to the vicious cycle that is stress and before I know it, i’m unable to sleep, worried about the numerous things I haven’t completed, and fixated on all of the things I have left to complete. I don’t think i’m extremely anxious or anything, but I like to create tasks for myself that take up more time than I have, such as knowingly scheduling dishes, laundry, meal prep, on a day I only have 1 free hour. Clearly, this task won’t get accomplished, so why put the pressure on myself? With that said, I want to proudly scream from the roof tops:

I AM OVER INSANE TO DO LISTS. NO MORE TRIPLE BOOKING MY TIME. NO MORE PUTTING MYSELF DOWN. NO MORE REQUIRING MENIAL TASKS TAKE PRIORITY OVER RELATIONSHIP TIME. NO MORE UNNECESSARY STRESS.

If my floor doesn’t get mopped until Sunday, but I have it on the docket for Thursday, well then, it doesn’t get mopped until Sunday–I am not going to freak out about it. Not to say, ignore the things that truly need to be done, but most things in my life are not so insanely urgent that an extra day is going to harm anyone–or any floors.

This week I’ve had a few things that needed to get done. Okay, that’s a lie–there have been MANY things on my radar, but I came to the conclusion that not all of them were of supreme urgency and so I chose to sleep (although only 6 hours) rather than spending time trying to complete them. After letting things go, you know what I learned? I CAN! It’s okay to not push your mind, spirit, and body to the breaking point every single day. As a matter of fact, it’s quite harmful to do so. Taking time to relax, to sleep, to focus on matters of the heart rather than the crazy Type A ‘to do’ lists that are piling up at work and home are essential to the life of a happy healthy girl.

Tonight, rather than rushing home after a rather long day at work, I spent some quality time with my husband. I enjoyed a few glasses of wine, we talked, and it was so relaxing and refreshing to forget about all of the things that “should be done” and to focus on the way I felt being with him. True calm and serenity is not going to come over night, heck, it’s not even going to show up in a week, but each day that I challenge myself to stop and THINK about what i’m doing is another day closer to discovering the balance that i’m seeking.

For next week, my challenge to myself is to leave time in the day completely unscheduled. Honestly, truly, free time. During this time I can do whatever I please (except make to do lists). I need at least 60 minutes EVERY SINGLE DAY. I know it sounds ridiculous, but for someone who has every minute of their day planned, this is a really big deal, but I have faith I can do it. I will report Monday-Saturday next week on how this goal transpires.

Namaste beautiful friends.

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