Good Evening Beautiful Friends,
As I sit here bra-less in my old baggy sweats typing and quietly reading each typed word under my breath to ensure this post is somewhat intelligible, all the while balancing a chocolate protein shake in my lap with mascara smudged, hair a mess, I can’t help but wonder “What would people think if they could see me right now?”
Not entirely sure why that came to me just now, but the mirror directly to my left allowing me to see exactly how UN-glamorous I look right now might have something to do with it. Speaking of glamour, I feel many women like myself, enjoy dressing up and looking pretty, but also have their
hot mess casual moments. For many years being pretty meant my hair was always neatly straightened, my make up was ALWAYS done, and my outfits matched just a little too much. No one could every find my natural state to be beautiful right? RIGHT??!?!
Fast forward 12 years, and I still enjoy fashion, stilettos, accessories, make up, hair products, you name it. I like to experiment with new looks and ‘styles’. Some days I’ll wear a bold lip, other days I play up my eyes, depending on my mood. The difference between THEN and now, is that I don’t do these things because I think i’m ugly without them, I do it because I enjoy it. I like to play up my natural beauty. Some days i’ll wear make up, other days I don’t, but I am equally as beautiful and unique regardless. All to often girls feel they need to look like the cookie cutter celebrities with long straight hair, slim physique, lashes to your eye brows, perky full C cups, the latest in fashion, the list goes on.
I was once that girl. I essentially liked myself, as long as ‘myself’ looked like someone else.
Tomorrow til Saturday i’m going to discuss in greater detail different aspects of exactly what I mean. Starting with the big one, my hair which was a matter of great internal struggle for many years. I’m sure many girls out there have, at one point or another, wanted the hair of another girl. For a black girl who’s only wish in life is straight hair, this seemed like an “at all costs” situation. I plan to discuss the physical acceptance that took place, as well as the day I finally understood that true beauty isn’t in the way we look on the outside but the person we are inside. (Easier said than done).
I have come to accept myself, flaws and all, and other than the occasional self conscious moment (Oh come on, don’t pretend you don’t have one too) I feel truly beautiful in my own skin. It has taken many ups and downs, some mistakes, lots of tears, and even more positive affirmations, but I’ve gotten to a place where I can just be apologetically ME.
To be continued.
Namaste Beautiful Friends.