Day 44: BIG ANNOUNCEMENT!!!

“The greatest danger for most of us is not that our aim is too high and we miss it, but that it is too low and we reach it.” – Michelangelo

Good evening beautiful friends,

I have a surprise announcement for you! I have decided to compete in my first ever fitness competition!!

Crazy I know!

I have been thinking about competing for months, but always assumed I could never do it, and that these girls possessed some ‘special’ secret weapon to get that lean for stage, until recently when I decided to get out of my own way and go for it. Because the special secret weapon these girls possess happens to be discipline and determination, and I have both of those!

Am I terrified? You bet!

Am I going to have second thoughts some days? It’s quite possible

Am I going to push through the doubt, trust the process, SUCCEED and walk across the stage proud?  DEFINITELY.

Why have I decided to compete you ask? Well, many reasons. The top 3 being

1. I come from a background of disordered eating, pretty intense body image issues, and I want to do this for me. Sticking with a diet, workout plan, and not giving up will prove to myself how far I’ve come and how much of a fighter I really am.

2. To show that vegan muscle IS possible. All too often i’m asked “but where do you get your protein” or i’m told I won’t put on muscle because i’m not supplementing with meat protein.To those people I say 

3. I love working out, I enjoy healthy foods, but I also enjoy a CHALLENGE! This competition prep will be one of the most mentally challenging things i’ve ever decided to do and I cannot wait to start. It’s easy to get comfortable and not grow or change, I have big dreams, and part of that includes pushing myself out of my comfort zone.

One of the first things I want to do is figure out exactly what percentage my body fat is at. I decided to step on the scale this morning for the first time in MANY months and the number on the scale staring back at me said 123! I’m 5’1 (let’s roll with that) and when I started my fitness journey several years back at my heaviest weight I was only 3 or 4 pounds heavier than that. 2 years ago, even 1 year ago I would have freaked out

Today however, I was totally cool.  My clothes all still fit –with the exception of my jeans because my quads and booty are getting big and my blazers are tight across my back and shoulders but everything still fits my waist perfectly. I may not have chiselled abs -YET, but I am far from fat. Do I have fat to lose? Of course, and that will come, but I am so happy with my progress. The fact that I saw the number and didn’t lose my mind shows me how far i’ve come. I am more than a number. I am a strong, healthy, fit, and beautiful woman. That number means nothing.

Check out my progress…

This is me every time I see booty gains.

Good night everyone! I have much more to share on the topic of competing, and will regularly update my blog to let you know how i’m progressing, how i’m liking it, my struggles, my successes, and everything in between.

As always, thank you for your support and love.

See the good in all things, live your life to the fullest, smile til your face hurts!

*Namaste*

Day 16: No need to whine about a little wine…

Good Evening beautiful friends,

Tonight I am thankful for my sisters. Whether they realize it or not, I think about my 2 younger sisters every single day. They live in Nova Scotia and I live in Ontario so we do not see each other often, but they are in my heart every minute of every day. We are only a few years apart, and we’ve had our good times AND plenty of bad, but I would do anything for those two girls.

For tonight’s post, I want to talk about #20 on my 30 things while 30 bucket list.

#20. Abstain from Alcohol. Drink no more than 12 times between now and next birthday (which works out to be once a month). 

As you’ve probably guess I won’t be able to cross this off the list. I have definitely drank more than 12 times so far this year. Have I been partying like crazy? Going out all the time? Getting drunk? No to all of those. In fact, I don’t drink much, but I do drink ‘regularly’– calm down i’ll get into it.

First of all, I think it’s important to note that when I created this list I was insanely focused on having an 6 pack and realized that the drinking was an issue. It wasn’t because I was a binge drinker or anything, just that I went out enough that it was a problem for my diet and for my progress. I still want abs, but my focus is more on being healthy, being strong, and gaining muscle now. I will not allow my abs, or a lack there of  define me. So at first, I avoided all alcohol–easy peasy. Then I’d go out for dinner with Andrew or a friend and obsess over if I should drink or not because if I did drink it would subtract from my 12 total, and I knew that I’d want a glass of wine for my anniversary, another for my husband’s birthday dinner, Christmas dinner, New years Eve, etc. I planned it all out, when I could and could not have a glass of something and honestly it began to weigh on me.

You could say that I do not need alcohol to have fun, you are correct. I do not. However, I enjoy a glass of red wine on a Friday night while unwinding with Andrew and discussing my week. It’s nice, I look forward to it, it’s not in excess so then why should I be feeling guilty about it? I realized in trying to ‘better’ myself I had inadvertently created a problem–an OBSESSION.

I do not have a drinking problem. Although I do not NEED alcohol, I enjoy a glass of wine periodically with friends and with Andrew. There is nothing wrong with this, and so the limit I had imposed on myself was forgotten. However, I typically only have wine, all other forms of alcohol which I used to drink such as vodka are a VERY rare occurrence.  Some people abstain from all alcohol completely, others only have it once or twice per year because they prefer to, and that is great, but for me balance is key. So if that means I enjoy a glass or 2 of wine a few times per month with my husband and friends, so be it.

Moral of the story girls and guys, BALANCE.